I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Panties = found
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