U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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