the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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