some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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