I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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