i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
