Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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