apparently the secret to your success is patron
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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