Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
