I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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