I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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