SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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