Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
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Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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