So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
