with your own penis?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize