ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My penis needs a shock collar
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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