Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
