I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
