their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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