false alarm. still invincible.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
