The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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