was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
