My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
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The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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