She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
