The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
