omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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