I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
