Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
