once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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