one might say we're banned from that church
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
