I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
it glows. i had to have it.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
