remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
