dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize