$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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