dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
did you just send me my own nude
It's shark week go big or go home
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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