one two three fourrrrnication!
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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