So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
