I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You pole danced in your parka.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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