I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
