cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
