Dual....:-)
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
