I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
