My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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