The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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