I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
