you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize