I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
