you would pick up someone in the library
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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