you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
