I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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