do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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