two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
