i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
