I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
my vag is so smooth its legendary
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
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I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I know her cup size but not her name....
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