so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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