I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I wear drunk well.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
