pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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